Worst Year Ever

On Sunday I said goodbye to my oldest. He’s off to boot camp and other new and scary adventures. With the ongoing pandemic, I likely won’t be able to fly out to see him graduate, which just adds to how shitty this year has been.

This year, like most usually do, started off hopeful. I set up my Bullet Journal with goals and routines. I started a new job. I started a morning routine (with exercising!). Then it all came crashing down before spring had even arrived.

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Killing Pollyanna

It’s been almost four years since stepmom came on the scene. Though she showed up with the ex for pick-ups several times, I didn’t actually meet her until she had been around for nine months and they were engaged and pregnant—and even that was only after my sister and I orchestrated an introduction.

I did my best in the early days to try to be inclusive, welcoming, waving the flag of “I don’t want him back; I just want us all to get along.” I shared a book, “No One’s the Bitch,” in hopes of avoiding all the negativity one hears about so often in mom vs. stepmom situations. I invited her to the birthday parties. I suggested we meet for coffee sometime. I wrote a letter trying to reach out and say that we must have gotten off on the wrong foot or something and that I want all of us to get along. In spite of this, I was essentially treated as though I didn’t exist or told that I didn’t show enough respect for the ex. Continue reading